


Opportunity

by Loki_NB



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25103992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_NB/pseuds/Loki_NB
Summary: With Traveller Con over, the M9 spend one more night of celebration to themselves before bringing up some important matters on their way home.However, their conversation is interrupted buy a sudden and trouble-filled visit.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay/Fjord, Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heey, I've been working on one or two stories but this is my favourite, and most progressed one, hope you like it.
> 
> cant promise there will be more but I will tryxx

Traveller Con had just finished, and after watching, the last of the ships sailed out of view, no sign of the dragon turtle, yet, deciding to spend one more night on the island, as a sort of after part, just for the M9, deciding to use the day to tidy up the mess and the night to drink the rest of the wiles and ales left by other worshipers.

Fjord decided to sit next to Caduceus while he meditated to ask the wild mother if the dragon turtle had gotten lost, or at least in ways of finding them, the warm wind surrounded him, granting him the peace that the turtle had lost trail of them,  
the second question asking of travel back to Nicodranace was clear of it, the warm wind stayed, like a warm hug, yes.   
the third question, would Uk'utoa be bothering them this time, the wind...didn't grow cold, but in a way of uncertainty, he relaid this all to Fjord, who told everyone else.

Beau helped jester take down the streamers, Yasha took up the heavy lifting, the chairs and makeshift stake, brining them and smashing them into a pile of fuel for the bonfire they planned to make.

Caleb and Veth worked on sorting through the offering left behind for The Traveller, Veth often slipping a few in her bag.

As night fell, they all gather round, the rather impressive pile, of smashed up wood, as Caleb opened a hand casing create bonfire, and they watched as the flame, slowly encompassed the mass of timber.

Jester standing near Beau took her hand, Beau blushed, as memories of her getting wasted and confessing to Jester and her reaction to being pulling beau into a warm and passionate kiss after that is was a blur of giggling and dancing.

The rest all chuckled, and the night went on, rather peacefully, for traveller con, and for tonight, the forced themselves to forget or the troubles they had ahead, Essek, The Assembly, the possible collapse of the peace treaty, and being seen as traitors on either side, for now, that was tomorrows problem.

The morning was warm, though whether that was the sun, or them nestled together in the dome, it was hard to tell.

They all rose, collected their things, making a few trips with the offerings to get them all on the ship, as they couldn't just leave them all here, only leaving the pile that was agreed upon with the village, then they were off, setting sail, and with nothing else to do but plan and discuss a few issues that had been on everyone's mind.

As they all stood on deck, it as Beau who was the first to break the silence  
"We haven't heard from Essek in a while," she said in a dubious tone "Jester have you tried messaging him?"  
"Oh well, no, not really, he said he was going to be busy ya know," Jester said trying to find an excuse other than she was just too nervous "and then I needed to plan and set up Traveller Con and look after the guests"

"I am sure" Caleb stated "He is fine, and if we just send him a message he will tell us so", "If, he isn't lying" Beau added  
There was a tense silence for a few minutes as Fjord gave Beau a starn look and mouths 'be more sensitive'  
"Look" she stared again, un-crossing her arms to let her guard drop, "we know you care about him, I know why you want him to be redeemable, I'm sorry for being a bit of an ass, but.. you do know I care, I just...dont want to loose any of you"

Calebs eyes softened "Ja Ja, I know, I don't wish to lose any of you either, but I can see in his heart he is not a bad guy, he is not like the Assembly, he is not like Trent, there is hope for him"

The tension lifted slightly, another pause, but before anyone could interrupt a familiar teleportation noise could be heard, as they all turned to see Essek, stumble onto their boat.  
Essek, who previously, even when getting comfortable with the M9, always kept up a refined appearance, now looked.. well a mess, his once perfectly quaft hair was a mess, his usual calm demeanour now replaced with panic and fear and he had fallen on their ship, no cloak, no mantle, just the simple Xhorhasian clothing he wore underneath, no-one knowing what to say, and all Essek could stutter out was "I'm sorry"

"I'm so sorry, I-i didn't know where to go, she, the Queen found out, and in a panic, I just arrived here, I'm so sorry I just don't-" Essek began to stutter   
"Essek" Caleb rushed towards him, kneeling to place a hand on his shoulders to calm him "It's ok, we'll figure this out uh"

They both looked back to the M9, noticing some of the suspicious looks "Right?" Caleb asked

Veth stepped forward "Don't you think this is a little much? He's been found out, if we protect him, we won't have anywhere to go, the Dynasty will be after us, and of the Queen either break off the treaty or tells the King, The Empire as well"

"We can't just abandon him Veth" Caleb snapped "There's a way to fix this If we- we just need time to think of a plan"

"The plan is He takes the punishment for what he did, He has hurt so many people, MY people, of it, want for him, My husband and child would never have been in danger from that assemblywoman, my husband would never have been taken and tortured" Veth roared, getting angrier

"ENOUGH" Beau shouted "Either way we cant argue here, Caleb, start a circle to Yussas, his tower is protected, and he owes us for helping him out, once there, we can SAFELY and calmly discuss out issues and come to an agreement"

Caleb said nothing more, leaving Esseks side, pulling out some chalk and started the circle, Beau watched on as Caduceuse nudged Veth aside, and with a hand, on her shoulder, they talked for a while, Fjord had offered him a strained but sympathetic smile, as he went to go told to a tortle

Essek could only watch in disbelief, he was doing this, if it was for him, Veth and Caleb, who were once so close, wouldn't be standing apart after an argument, Jester who had mumbled something about a message had popped downstairs, and Beau shortly followed, neither of them returned till the circle was ready, Yasha stood a bit aways from Essek, close enough to react if he tried anything.

For 10 minus, Essek just sat there, wondering if it was best he just leaves, ears twitching for any sound of danger that followed him, but none came, eventually, the stillness was interrupted by Caleb "Right, last mark, let's go" and as he finished he waited for everyone to walk in, including Essek, before stepping in himself.

They all arrived in the familiar chamber, Essek slowly edged his way to stand awkwardly a few feet from the group as they just seemed to wait for a while, shortly the patter of feet could be heard, and a door opened, revealing the Goblin Wensforth "Ah, I uh, told Masted Yussa about your visit, if you'll just wait in the common area he'll be down to... discuss matters"

Essek tensed, not knowing who this 'Yussa' was, but he didn't have many options left, and of this would help his opportunity to keep close to the M9, well he'd take it.

Essek began to float, before tripping into a walk, with the M9, as he followed them down the stairs into a room, Caleb kept next to him, his eyes stared straight ahead, Essek wanted nothing more than to reach out, but now wasn't the right time, maybe it never would be.

As they all gathered in a small waiting room chamber, Essek took a seat on the couch, Caleb sat at the opposite end, Beau propped herself against one of the windows holding Jester's hand as she stood next to her. Fjord and Caduceuse stood behind the couch, while Veth sat on the couch opposite, Yasha admired some of the potted flowers, still, keeping an eye on him though.

No-one said anything, and it seemed like the silence would go on forever if it weren't for the soft footsteps descending the nearby stairwell, as a short light brown-skinned elven man appeared, led by the goblin, who gave a quick and sharp look to Essek, before a more welcoming one around the M9  
"I see you made it here safely" He greeted "I'm glad, as you know you don't need to worry about being watched or tracked here, so please take your time to plan, and ensure your safety if you wish I have a more private room prepared for you to talk, and Wensforth and Willy are clearing out a few rooms for guest chambers if you need to spend a night or two"

"Thank you Yussa" Fjord replied, "I think we will take up your offer that room, Uh Essek, could you, wait down here a minute, I believe there are a few things we want to talk about as a group"  
Essek could only give a meek nod, he wanted to be there, he was already having a hard time to retain some of his composure, but he had no platform to argue

Everyone followed the goblin to the room, while Yussa, much to Esseks dismay remained, Essek couldn't bring himself to look directly at the elven man, but he could see his fine gold robes form his profitable reflecting off the sunlight, but he could feel his intense stare, watching him, studying him, it felt like a window was being burned through to his soul.

Only when he left, did Essek allow his appearance to falter, as he sunk his head into his hands, he waited, listening for any sign of the 9's return, he could hear above him, voices murmuring, at some point a few raised, before one broke into a slowly quieting weep, after that, it got fairly silent, and about 5 minutes passed before he heard a door opening, a quiet conversation, and a stream of footfalls start down the stairs to him.

As the M9 descended the stairs, Essek remained sat where they had left him, seemingly had used the time to pull himself together a bit, his hair now more neatened and his cloak straightened.  
He watched, trying but failing to his nerves, the M9 re-enter the room, he could see the tension between Veth and Caleb was gone as Veth stood next to him, hand on his arm, he noticed the redness and puffiness to their eyes, but they seemed happier? or at least more content with the dilemma.

They all took a seat on the two couches, Caleb sat next to Essek, and Veth next to him, Beau look at the option to stand behind the couch between Caleb and Essek, but when Jester patted the cushion next to her she couldn't resist, Fjord sat on the end next to Beau and Caduceuse sat on the floor and Yasha now took to the window.

There was still tension, but less, that didn't mean Essek didn't feel like his heart was about to jump out of his throat as he anxiously waited for someone to say something before he felt a warm hand slide over his, and looked down to see it was Calebs, who spoke in a gentle but firm tone "We have decided we want to help you, Essek, no matter what, we are ready to stand by and defend you...though this does not mean, we have forgotten, nor forgiven what you did"   
Essek could feel himself shaking, unable to stop the tears starting to weld in his eyes, he just looked down at the warm, callous hand that enveloped his "We're giving you a chance, to prove yourself redeemable, we're giving you a chance to do some good in this world if you will take it?"

Essek raised his free hand to his face covering his eyes " I don't deserve this, I don't deserve any of you, or the kindness you give me" he choked 

"Then do something about it" Veth's voice ordered, causing Essek head to snap up in confusion, to this halfling, whom he had hurt so much, who pushed for him to be turned in  
Beau continued "If you don't believe your worth of us, which you aren't" she added curly " Make yourself worthy, help us do good, help us help others"  
"we're giving you chance, you said so yourself, that you're nothing but 'a selfish creature' then be selfish and take our offer" Veth finished

looking around now he saw the M9, even Yasha, Veth and Beau, give him a soft smile, Caleb squeezed his hand and with a soft chuckle he replied: "Then, if you will have me, I would graciously accept your offer, so what's the plan?"  
...  
Silence  
...  
"We did not get that far" Fjord admitted, Essek couldn't help but let out a chuckle, a break from all the pent-up tension "Sorry but that is, how you would put it ?'On Brand' ". That got a few chuckles, and the mood to grow more comfortable,  
"Well," Veth sprang "I may be tooting our own horn a bit, but I'm pretty sure, this peace treaty would never have happened if it weren't for us, and if it's still going, then I'd dare say the Queen would owe us quite the favour?"  
"Oh-oh, I could ask The Martinet how the peace talks been going?" Jester announced and before anyone could stop her  
"Hello, Jester of the Might Nein here, Just wondering how peace stuff is going? is it going good? are things going well? How are you?"  
they all waited as jester received the message with mixed emotion showing on her face  
Jester cast sending one more "Oh ok, no yea we don't know anything about that, ANYWAYS, keep up the good work...doot doo doo doo doot"

"ok ok ok ok, SO, the king knows about Essek, BUT it seems the assembly wasn't found out? or that it's being covered over maybe I don't know, BUT, the good news is that the peace is still going on"

"Ok so our plan could work, we would just need to disguise Essek in the empire, No-erm Veth you've had practice with that so you could help him out, and in the morning Jester, you can message the Queen and see if we can get Essek out of fatal punishment" Fjord planned  
"Well, maybe the Dusk captain would be better to send to? she seems to keep have more restraint and knows how to ease the Queen? Caleb suggested  
Everyone seemed fairly satisfied with the plan, and no-one else really had a better one, the goblin, 

Wensforth came through with various plates of food, accompanied by Willy who helped carry them, Essek was intrigued by the mechanical helper, and though Caleb shared some information in him creating it, he didn't push for further details, still sensing the bridges he had to mend.  
They were informed Yussa was busy in his study and wished not to be disturbed. The meal was pleasant and the food was like nothing Essek had tasted, but he couldn't help but miss the dinner he had with the M9 before he was exposed.

As it became later in the evening, Wensforth had appeared to show them to their rooms, there had been two rooms next to each other cleared out, but, although they knew they were safe in the tower, the chose to bunk up in one room Essek hovered in the corridor intending to use the other room and watched as Caleb went through his ritual of setting up an alarm, before casting his dome he turned to Essek "If you would like there's room in the dome, it may be a little snug but you're more than welcome"

"Ah, that will be alright, I think it would be for the best if I took the other room for tonight, thank you, for everything really," Essek said with a heartfelt smile "Ja, Gudnacht, Hopefully all goes well tomorrow," Caleb said, offering what seemed like a sad smile in return, though it might have been in Esseks mind, as he retreated into the bedroom.

Essek lay in the bed, hours passed by, but he couldn't meditate let alone sleep, he knew whatever was mentioned upstairs got the rest of the M9 to give him a chance, and he wanted that chance, he wanted to still be their friends and to fix their relationship, he didn't want to lose any of them, especially Caleb, who had watched him with such piercing cold blue eyes, who had threatened him on the boat but had so quickly had been the first to offer him redemption, and that kiss...

But now, he had put them in so much danger, he didn't want to lose them, but he also didn't want to put them in unnecessary danger, he could just teleport away, hide away himself somewhere, or turn himself in and be done with it all, though started to creep in on the punishment he would face, humiliated in front of all of Rossana, failure and disgrace to his Den, though he did not care much for them, he had spent his whole life creating the elegant structure of 'The Shadowhand'.  
He was sure the Queen was furious about him, she had seen he making decisions angry many-a-time, always making sure they were as painful as possible, he shuddered thinking what she had planned for him, his throat started to go dry and he sat up, trying to shake off the panic that was starting to creep in, hand shaking as he reached for the water left in the room, a knock at his door caused him to jump.

Essek cautiously opened the door, to find Yussa standing on the other side, his face was expressionless, "We need to talk" he growled under his breath before pushing himself in and shutting the door.

Essek had taken a few wary steps back, now having a closer look at Yussa, he was much the same height as Essek, his eyes were a stern and stunning golden colour, they seemed to pierce through Essek, through any illusion he might be able to present, he found himself absolutely terrified, and once again, breaking eye-contact and finding the floor "Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully drow" Yussa snarled closing the gap between them so they were toe to toe "As you have, I have come to appreciate having the m9 around, even if they don't visit as much, and I would hate for any unnecessary harm to come to them, I don't mind them keeping you around"  
The way he said that made Essek feel like some stray mutt they had picked up, he bit his tong from saying anything,   
"and though they haven't explained exactly what's going on, to have the entirety of the Dynasty and Empire after you, it mustn't have been good"  
He leaned forward to whisper in the drows ear "if you betray them, then those two nations will be the least of your concern"

And with that, he was gone, leaving Essek, gasping for air, taking shaky breaths as the room seemed to close in, sinking down and pulling his knees to his chest, Yussa was not normal, and definitely not someone to mess with.

After a while, he managed to regain control of his breathing, haggard and defeated, he staggered to the door of the room next to his and softly rapped his hand against it, the tall furbolg, answered it, seemingly the only one who woke up, and let him inside, not pushing for an explanation, Essek walked in and settled himself in the cosy pile of the M9, noticing Beau and Jester swaddled in each other embrace, he somehow next to Caleb, the furbolg found his way back to his own space.  
Essek let the warmth flow through him, as he gazed at the redhead sleeping in front of him, allowing the sense of safety to pull him into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I wrote more? much messier, as I got different sections messed up

Morning came and they all headed down to eat, after breakfast, they all gathered on the couches again preparing for the worst, "Wait" Veth interrupted "Would it be reasonable if I brought Yezza and Luke here? I don't know just in case the queen gets mad and tries to take them again?", "It may be safer to do that, they've been through enough already" Fjord nodded and with the Veth was off.

Darting through the streets Veth made her way to the La'vachatou, scurrying up the stairs and knocking on Marian's door, "One moment please" her voice rang before the door peaked open "Oh Veth If you're looking for Luke and Yezza" sta turned around grabbing something off a nearby table and handing her a folded note "Yezza said this is their new address" Veth smiled taking the note "Thank you, You look as gorgeous as ever before darting back down the stairs and outside to find the address.

It didn't take her long to find the apartment, rapping on the door she heard Yezza make he way, cracking open the door, his face lighting up to see Veth as he swung the door open and pulled her into his embrace, Luke hearing Yezza's welcoming rushed over to join in the hug.  
For a moment Veth stopped worrying, enjoying the deeply missed connection with her family before pulling away "Does this mean you're done? are you finally back home?" Yezza looked to hopeful, which is why it pained Veth even more, to share a sad look with him "No, no, not quite yet, we need to finish up some business, and its.." she looked down at Luk, his big innocent eyes gazing up at her "...could we talk outside?" she directed back at Yezza, Yezza shooed Luk back into finishing his studies, which he reluctantly obliged.

As Yezza shut the door behind him, he rested his hand on Veth's arm, trying to console her "It's ok, you cal talk to me, what's going on?"  
Veth took a deep breath "Things got complicated while we were away, and right now, right here I can't explain everything, but... I need you and Luk to.." she sighed "to stay with another friend of ours, it's safer at him home and... I'm so sorry for this, it looks like you got a nice house and had moved in, and I promised when we get back it would go back to normal I- I just-" 

Veth's babbling words were cut off by a hug from Yezza "Shhh shh, I know the work your doing is important, and yea, I'm a little upset it isn't over by now, and that we're in danger, though I don't blame you for that, I know you, I can tell you're trying, I'm with though through "all of this ok? "  
Veth looked up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks "Have I told you that you're the best fucking husband every?", Yezza smiled "And your the best wife ever" they shared a kiss before Yezza called Luk and they made their way back to Yussa's.

The M9 didn't do much while Veth was gone, with the help of Essek they wrote out what Jester would be saying in her messages to the Dusk Captain, and praying for the best result. When Veth returned she muttered direction to the guest room and Yezza took Luk up, quietly greeting everyone and making an obvious curve around the familiar Drow, Luk with a big smile waved at everyone and then gawked at Essek pointing "Daaad, dad that a drow, look looook, so pretty" Yezza sped up, Everyone smiled at Yezza and gave a wave back to Luk, snickering at his reaction to Essek.

Essek hadn't seen the Halfing man since 'The Dungeon of Penance', he found himself relieved to see how much healthier he was, though the weight of guilt hit him like a sledgehammer as he arced by, The child's reaction was not what he was expecting, at first he gently raised his finger to raised back, then stunned to be called 'pretty' his face growing hotter as some of the M9 teased him a bit before Veth took her seat and nodded, satisfied to Jester.

"Hello Dusk Captian, This is Jester of the Mighty Nein, We were wondering If it was possible to use our help in the peace negotiations-"  
"To possibly ask for mercy on behalf of Essek? We know he did some bad things, but we fully believe he has a good heart-"  
"We understand, The Queen is angry, which is why we ask you, to help, calm and convince her, please? this would mean a lot, please?"

There was a long pause before a reply "I agree that my Queen maybe letting her anger get the better of her just now, but she has her reasons... If you truly believe in Essek so much as to risk yourselves... I will see what I can do, no promises, it may take a while, but I do believe that if she does concede to your request, he should come and face her to face what lesser punishment she delivers "

"Ok so it seems the Dusk Captain will talk to her, but she's not promising anything, and she says that if the Queen decides to... go for a lesser punishment, she thinks it would be right for you to face her Essek" Jester explained  
Everyone grew still and watched Essek who blinked in disbelief, this was probably the best way it could go "That would be fair, we are lucky she even heard us out" he sighed, laying back, "well for now we wait, see what can be managed and keep you safe here" Caduceuse spoke.

After that everyone separated off on their own, Beau and Jester wandered off to a section of the room to chat, Fjord had asked Caduceus to help him meditate, Veth had run upstairs to be with her family, and Yasha decided to practice her harp in another corner of the room. Caleb shuffled next to Essek "All went well considering? if you would like we could go over some spells, or if you would like to rest after that I wouldn't blame you, you look a bit worn" Essek stood, stretching a bit, I wouldn't mind studying a bit" He watched Veth run back down in into what seemed to be a kitchen "... I think I left something upstairs though, I'll be right back"

Essek made his way upstairs to the rooms, and gently rapped on the door, The halfling opened it, happily expecting someone else, then gulping at the sight of Essek, Luk tried to squeeze past to see, but he told him to go study, Yezza kept the door barely open, as he waited for Essek to speak  
"I uh, I just, wanted to apologize, for everything, I don't know how much Veth has told you, but, I would still like to offer my sincerest apologies... that is all" he bowed his head and walked away, passing Veth on the stares as she gave him a suspicious look, before doubling her speed up.

Essek met up with Caleb back downstairs "Did you find it?" he asked, "What?", "The thing you were, you left up there?", "Oh no, uh, left it at home, nothing important" Caleb searched Essek fora second before dropping it "Ah, unlucky", and so they sat, spell books open and Caleb going over what he learned about the collar, and hours passed by.

Beau and Jester found a quiet place in the corner of the room, their conversation jumping around, asking how each of them was doing, briefly on the topic of Essek and their now tangled pathway, Jester trying to optimistic as always, and Beau, being a little more logical, and maybe harsh, they shared smiles and laughs, shoulder to shoulder for a while till Beau wanted to be closer and put her arm around her, she smiled at Jester, she loved her so much, she smiled admiring the freckles on her nose and cheeks, she smiled at the was shed blush every time she called her 'Jessy' which she had been doing for a while, but now it just felt more important, and they just talked, enjoying each others time together.

Veth had made it back upstairs with some drinks and snacks, entering the room, immediately Luk was distracted by the food and Veth managed to pull Yezza aside "I just saw Essek leave, Is everything alright?", Yezza gave a confused nod "He just came to apologise? he wasn't sure 'how much you told me' but he just wanted to let me know he was sorry"  
Veth nodded, and sat down on the bed, Yezza joined her, hand intertwined "Hey, Lukypoo", Luk glanced up as his mother wide smile " I think Jester still had some cupcakes, if you asked her nicely I'm sure shed gove you some, Luk wide eyes burst out the room and downstairs, Yezza sighed, imagining the sugar rush they'd half to deal with.

Veth explained everything to Yezz, who listened, appreciating the pauses for him to digest, and as the story went on his eyes just got wider ad wider till Veth finished, "Yea, wow, wow, that's that's a lot to process, let alone deal with...", "Are you ok?" she asked, Yezza shot her a concerned look "Compared to you I'm sure I'm fine, I had no idea what you had been dealing with, and I can't believe what we're actually involved with" Yezza combed his hands through his hair, "But we're safe here, and Calebs very smart I'm sure he wouldn't minds helping Luk out with studies, he's an amazing teacher"

Yezza nodded, "I just, hope this pans out, Luk can't stay here forever, he needs to go out and meet people, make friends, go to school",  
"I know, I know, we're going to wait for the Dusk Captains response, and go from there, I promise you though, you and Luk's safety and life come first" Yezza nodded, and for a while, they just sat there.

Caduceus and Fjord made their way onto the balcony after Wensforth assured them it was also under the protection of the tower, and Caduceus guided Fjord through his meditation, to feel and listen to the earth around him, the gentle whispers of the wind and song of the birds, once Fjord seemed to get the hang of it, he stopped to admire him, his hair had grown long enough for the front to be pulled back into a small ponytail, a few short strands softly fell over his forehead, he started getting some pretty good stubble into. which really helped show off the tusks that were beginning to protrude, he smiled as he sat down next to him, and began meditating himself. 

Essek was enjoying studying with Caleb, though there was more distance than who the previously worked together, he could accept that, so long as he didn't recoil at his touch or tell him he never wished to see him again, so long as he could still be in his life, that was enough, for now, but how he wished he could study one-on-one life this long, but Yussa made his appearance looking for Caleb, smiling as he descended the stairs, looking over the M9 as they did their own thing, trying to relax and let things happen, he spotted Caleb, and Essek on the couch, books and papers sprawled out "Looks like you've been busy, mind if I ask what you're researching?" He directed the question to Caleb, seemingly overlooking Essek, "I thought it might help to let Essek look over sone of the work of the collar, He, other than yourself, of course, is one of the smarted mages I've met, so I felt his input important... I hope you do not mind?", "No, no, it is your project, the more help the better anyway, hmm?" giving Essek a tight smile before he looked through the papers as he sat down between them.

Caleb was not a fool, He had notices Yussas precaution to Essek, and it was understandable, especially since, until studying with Yussa before breakfast, he wasn't fully informed of the situation, and he's opinion had certainly not lifted after finding out, but, he seemed to trust the M9, after the 'Happy Ball' incident, dare he say even grown fond of them, maybe studying together would be good to loosen the tension, though right now it seems Essek had sheepishly drawn into himself, and hardly talked after Yussa joined them.

Dinner came and went, everyone was downstairs this time, it was a quiet dinner, no-one talked, other than Yezza and Veth when reminding him not to stare, eat his veg, and to thank Mr Yussa, before sending him off to bed.

Yussa retired shortly after, and the rest stayed up a few more hours, hoping for some sort of message, but when Caleb announced it was 10 pm, they all made their way to bed, Veth Yezz and Luk took what was once Esseks room, and he found himself bunking with the M9.  
Each finding a spot to nestle down in, Jester and Beau sat up a bit longer than the rest, Jester fell asleep first, and Beau just watched her for a while, lightly brushing the hair out her face.

This time, taking a lighter sleep of meditation, using his superior dark vision, he looked around and saw everyone peacefully asleep, Jester and Beau once again curled into each other.  
With a flick of his hand and a few symbols drawn in the air, he took out his book and began going over his notes, they were doing so much for him, yet he found he could only sit there and let it happen, so, he'd at least try harder, to help find a solution to Caleb's collar conundrum.

Essek glanced over at the human, as he was curled up, hair scattered over his face as he was deeply asleep, memories filled his mind, from when he first saw this human, offering up one of the beacons he had given away, never is a million lifetimes, did he ever expect such a miscellaneous group of individuals to turn his life so suddenly around, never did he expect for one measly human, to make him feel things he had not felt in such a long time, memories of his study session with this scruffy but surprisingly intelligent and quick learning man.

Memories of the others surfaced too, Jester's instant hug when he had given them the 'Xhorhouse' as they called it, to then visit a couple of days later to find a massive tree on top while Caduceus and Jester, precariously strung up jars filled with liquid light.

Memories of the dinner he finally attended, how weird it felt to not be held to his usual expectations, except, struck a barrage of questions, ranging from weird to just plain embarrassing and somehow coaxed up to their hot tub, it all seemed like a pleasant dream now, shattered apart by the nightmare of that night.

On the ship, Essek expected the same hostility thought the entire conversation as when Caleb had threatened him, which he could tell was a shock for everyone else, But as he explained, and sat there, awaiting judgment and for them to run to the Queen, they didn't do anything of the sorts, instead he was shown such compassion, it made him feel so, humiliated that he has expected anything else.  
Though they were kind to him, it was understood, that his relationship with them had been severely damaged, possibly beyond restoration.  
But now, here he was in a room with them as they slept, risking everything for him, for whatever conversation they had upstairs.  
unconsciously his hand reached out to brush the hair out of Caleb's face, and he smiled, grateful for this chance.

Yussa had retired early, moving to his chambers below, followed shortly by a nervous Wensforth "You seem to be, disturbed recently sir, anything I can do to help?" entering his chamber Yussa did away with his form, his size swelled, his light-brown skin turned to dazzling gold scales, as he stretched out in the large environment "just keep an eye on that drow, I don't want him destroying with whats mine after all" and with that Wnsforth left.

He made it sound more selfish that it was, it was true dragons liked collecting and hoarding, he didn't see the M9 as his property, but they were his friends, they had come to help hin, and contacted Allura when they didn't need to when they could have easily taken advantage of the situation and plundered his tower. Other than Allura, they were the only others he trusted as much, and he wasn't going to let anyone cause them harm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyye, somehow another chapter

Essek had taken his 4h meditation then through the rest of the night, after taking out his notebook, the only reason he managed to have this was his dimensional hole spell, his home had been seized and he only had just enough time to escape, writing down theories.  
For a moment he stopped, thinking back to his night encounter with Yussa, he certainly seemed protective, he had no clue what his history was with the M9, though, he certainly knew the M9 could be surprisingly endearing, the power Essek had felt last night, Yussa had to be one powerful mage.

The first one to wake up was Beau, giving him a cautious look"How long you been up?", "Oh I don't need much sleep, as long as I meditate for 4h I'm good to go", "lucky," she remarked, untangling her leg from the tiefling tail and walking over to Fjord, whacking him on his stomach, not hard enough to hurt, but the sudden slap shot him awake and sitting up "Wha- wai-" He turned to Beau "Oh no seriously, I thought we were taking a break from that shit", "Cmon man it's not that bad when you get it over with, we've been lagging on training since we got on the ship, I thought you wanted to be stronger"

Begrudgingly Fjord got up, still groggy he followed how outside, lifting his hand in acknowledgement to Essek, who replied with a simple thumbs-up.  
He could hear next door Luk, and eventually, Yezza and Veth were awake.  
Jester woke searching around for her missing monk to cuddle, she ended up staying and talking to Essek, distracting him from his work, but he didn't mind, the usual kindness she treated him with was nice, she nagged him about sleeping, even if he didn't 'need' it.

the conversations got a little serious as she asked, the sudden change from her usual hyper smiling ball of hope, to a more sincere and concerned expression caught him off guard slightly, "I.. am coping, I'm just, wish I wasn't causing you all so much hassle"  
Jester's face saddened, pulling him in for a hug "Essek, It's no trouble, your still out friend, I everyone angry right now, but they still care", "are you angry?", Jester pause, pulled away to look Essek in the eyes "I don't really know if I'd call it anger, I'm hurt, I feel sad and betrayed, but I still know you're a good guy Essek, even if you don't see it yet", Essek gave her a sad smile" Thank you for believing, even if it's in me", with one final hug jester made her way downstairs calling after Beau. Essek now noticing Caduceus laying on his back, just watching, he was too observant, and though he said nothing his eyes gave Essek some weird comfort "She's right ya'know, she may be overly energetic and impulsive, but she's very smart and knows her friends really well, it'll take more time than she thinks, but the anger will die down eventually "thank you Caduceus", the furbolg just smiled, making his way towards the door "I wonder if I can take over the kitchen today, I miss cooking", Essek felt, though he never seemed to be confrontational, Wesforth was going to have a battle on his hands. Caleb finally stirred, looking around "I guess I'm the last one up", "well you and Yash-" looking around as well now, she was nowhere to be seen "where did she? she was just here... how...?", "Ja she does that" Caleb chuckled sitting up "how long have you been up?", "I- I only need to meditate for 4h and I'm good, but, how does she, I mean she big how does she sneak out?", "Oh, We've learned just not to question it, she has her ways" Essek slid over his book and few pages "Yes, umm, I've have come up with a few solutions for the collar, I'm not sure if any will work or if we have the materials, but if you'd like to look over it?" Just as Caleb leaned over, there was a knock at the door as Wensforth pushed it open "uh breakfast is ready, apparently by one of your companions.... there's no chance of getting the kitchen back is there?" Caleb laughed getting up "Nein, not a chance" 

The day went on, Essek made his way downstairs, a few nods of acknowledgement Jester with a bright smile turned her attention to him calling him over to sit with her a Beau, who didn't hold back on showing her distaste for him, popping in a few snide remarks when she could, Fjord, who Essek wasn't sure entirely where he stood but seemed to go with everyone else, shot Beau a few unapproving glances.

Breakfast came and went, It was very quiet, Yussa was no-where to be seen, apparently busy with research Caleb had mentioned as he came down to eat after assisting him, after that the day went on, they waited in the tower for some sort of response, as they all chatted, some went off to do their own thing for a while, Essek just watched. Caduceus had ended up practising baking, Fjord and Beau hung out as Jester drew recent events in her book, Veth spent time her family, helping Yezza teach Luk, promising him crossbow lessons as a reward, he could tell she had told him, as he felt the silent judgment in every untrusted glance of Yezza.  
Yasha waved between reading a few books, harp practice and staring off the balcony into the sky, then the day ended, everyone retired to bed, and then came the next day.

Days passed by like this, sometimes some would jot out, Caleb needed some more spell components, Jester more paints, bits and bobs for the rest, Jester one day, in fact, came back with some more clothing for Essek, "Ah, Jester, thank you" Essek forced a smile", "Oh no, do you not like them?" she worried "no, no Jester, nothing like that, I just remembered, the person you gave me, I, unfortunately, left it at uh, my old home, I'm sorry" Jester smiled, seemingly glad he wasn't upset by the clothing "Oh, that's fine, I'm just glad your safe, I can always make another if you need ", Yahya got her requested pots and flower seeds, soon turning the balcony into a small green terrace, with the help of Caduceus, talking to the plants and small insects that would visit.  
Caleb invited him a few times to help on projects, which he, trying to hide his enthusiasm to help in some way and be useful, accepted.

Around 5 days into their routines Jester sat up alert, listening to something, everyone held their breath, waiting for her to tell them. "Ok, I'll let everyone know that, that's very helpful, Thank you... doot doo doo..." a few sighs and chuckles as jester used up the remainder of her 25 words, Essek felt the pain of whoever was on the receiving end. 

Jester took a breath "Ok, so, The Dusk Captain Quana, says she sounds a time where The Queen wasn't as angry, so she talked to her and told her of our request, apparently at first she got really mad, but eventually calmed again, but she hasn't agreed to anything, and wasn't to talk to all of us in person before making a decision, she promises that Essek won't be seized while we're there, so long as he remains with us"

There was a long pause, "This could be a trap" Beau pointed out "Even if the Dusk Captain isn't aware of it, The Queen herself could be setting up an ambush"  
"No, I don't think she'd do that" Caducueuse remarked "She's angry, yes, but I don't think enough to betray The Captain or stoop to such lies"  
Everyone seemed to agree with both statements, Essek sat, staring at the ground, trying to control, loosen the tightness in his chest "If this is a trap, and we go, you all will be in danger, maybe it would be for the best... if I just turned myself in already"  
Caleb kneeled beside to him "Don't say such thing's, we all knew the risks when we sent that first message, and we still know them now" Caleb's eyes were stern but held a gentleness behind them "You go by yourself and you will most definitely be killed, let us help you"  
"Yea Essek" Jester sat next to him " We want to help if anything goes wrong we'll be there, and all get out together, I'm sure we can find more of Caleb's hiding necklaces if we need to"  
The others gathered around, some a little more reluctant than others, nonetheless, they joined.

Essek let out a bitter chuckle, how many times we're they going to prove him wrong, how long till his expectations of being abandoned by them no long plagued his mind, and how much longer would he fear, that he would be the death of them., hanging his head, could only give a tiny nod.

A few more messages back and forth, time and date set, an arrangement of guards to guide them,  
One week from now, around 10:45 Xhorhas time,  
After everything, there was just silence, as they all thought about the possibilities they lay before them, all eager to get to bed early.

Essek couldn't sleep, he managed to get the 4h of meditation he needed, barely, but he could not sleep, he sat up, pinching the bridge of his nose. with his dark vision, he could see the rest of the nein around him, limbs tangled together, huddled together, He had rested a bit away, still in the dome, but isolated, He felt a warm hand slide over his "Can't sleep?" a heavily Zemnien accented voice whispered, Essek turned to see Caleb squinting at him in the darkness "Neither can you?" he replied

He swept his red hair back, revelling his bright blue eyes, as he sat up "Well, we have a big day's ahead, hard to sleep when thinking about our different possibilities, so many pathways, but we will stand by you, friend" Caleb offered Essek a reassuring smile, and he couldn't help but smile back, turning his hand over, palms facing.  
Caleb eventually lay back down, hand still held, and closed his eyes, Essek did the same, oddly, a little bit calmer, as he slowly let the room fade to darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

Essek awoke, no-longer a hand in his, sitting up he was once again alone in the room, he tried listening for the usual rumpus of the M9, he heard, slight murmurs downstairs, and heading down to investigate he found them all on the couch deep in a hushed conversation.  
Immediately Essek felt as though he had walked in on something he shouldn't have, not sure whether to make his presence known or to stealth back upstairs till he was called, but before he could decide, Caduceuse had looked up "Oh, hey, you're awake"

Everyone turned to see him, "Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting, I can just... go back upstairs if-"  
"No" Beau interrupted "We wanted to talk to you anyway, just waiting for you to... wake up", "We uh" Caleb began "We have an important meeting coming up, and we realised... We know you admitted to... giving away the beacons, and the basic reason for that, but we don't know the full story" his lips pushed into a straight line, looking for the right words to say, before continuing "We feel it would help us if we knew and asked a few questions?"

Hesitantly Essek walked over to the couch's and found a seat, "I suppose that would be fair for all you're doing for me, uh, is there anywhere, in particular, I should start?" Esseks whole body was tense, his back, shoulders, his legs would be shaking if he weren't putting some effort to muster some control over them  
"Well," Fjord rested his elbows on his knees leaning in a little "the start wouldn't hurt, you said you were the only one to belive in your research,? how did all that start?"

Essek took a deep shaky breath, 'hold it together, you owe them too much to break now' he thought before he could start, or even think of how or were, a small halfling hand appeared in front of his face, with a small glass filled with a honey brown liquid in it, "Need a drink to take the edge off? it's no wine, its better, stronger", Glancing at her she seemed earnest, as though she spoke from experience, he took the glass, taking a sip, the bitter taste hitting his tongue and burning the back of his thought, warmth radiated thought his body and up to his head, coughing a bit, Beau couldn't help but chuckle a little, as Caduceuse patted his back "You were not lying about 'strong'" Essek's voice strained "Uhm, I guess starting from, well, my beginning would make the most sense"

With one more, shakey but easier breath, Essek statted " I, I was born a new soul in my Den, which, with my mother being the Umavi, was disappointing, my father seemed even more so disappointed, in my lack of physical capability, I mean it's not like I didn't try, but I found studies were more 'my thing', so I poured myself into that, trying for some other way to prove myself to them, to make them proud... it was a foolish endeavour.

I created the 'floating' spell to match the heights of other's around me, to... create an illusion I could keep myself up with the rest of them I suppose, hehe, it was weird, though my talents didn't go unnoticed, it still felt like I did, as though without my magic, I would just fade away from their mind, as though all I was to them, was, what I eventually became, 'The Shadowhand' a young drow protege, and after that, even more standers emerged, appearances to maintain, status to uphold, a facade to preform so long I was in public view... or even out of it to be honest."  
"Yet, with all the recognition, with the rank, I had been given, I, MYSELF, Essek, not 'Theylss not Shadowhand, still went unseen."

Essek could feel himself losing control of his emotions, to finally be able to talk about this, without the scrutinization he would normally receive from his peers, snapped back, as a hand landed on his shoulder, for a second he thought he was going to be chastised, but looking up, he could see sympathy, and concern, even from Beau, who seemed to resonate with something, and Veth who gave him the look, not even his mother gave him, one of sadness and condolence, Caleb gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, they all waited from him to continue.

"I pushed through, eventually turning my attention to the Luxon, this Beacon, our religion, I was never that religious so in, I really never paid it much attention, then I started to question... all of it? the book in the Marble Tombs had an entire section dedicated to the Luxon, but it just talked about worship, nothing about how it worked, no research was done on it, it merely existed and we worshipped it as a god or part of one, not much was said of how it was found, simply that is led our kind to salvation, from the spider queen.... yet we had no research on them... I found that puzzling, we dedicated to much to this Beacon, that gave us rebirth that gave us power, yet, no research had been done or was allowed, I tried putting in requests, made numerous reasons, explained my case, but I was denied, told it was out of my jurisdiction, and to focus on my own tasks..."  
Essek slugged down the rest of the whiskey in his cup, Veth hadn't pour much, about a shot worth, the liquor immediately went to his head, he felt, lighter, relaxed, he could swear he was floating if it wasn't for Caleb's hand still on his shoulder,

"I didn't contact them.., the Assembly, they, somehow managed to place a letter in my home, my study, at first, I ignored it, but... I didn't, get rid of the letter, simply hid it in the back of my spellbook in my pocket dimension, I guess the temptation eventually got to me, and a month later, I replied...At first, things went well, we shared information, studies theories and one thing led to another and they convinced me to steal the beacon and hand it to them, after that... I hardly had any contact from them, only really to ensure I was covering up things on my end, not much about the research they had been doing, or about...I did not know they of the experiments Mr Yezza was brought into, I didn't learn of him till he arrived in Xhorhas, I did not know what had pulled liquid from the Beacon, till you shared that information over dinner, but it was too late to take it back, it had become too late, the moment the Beacon left my grip...."

Essek sighed, head now in his hands "I...I don't regret what I did, barely the consequences that followed... I understand your reasoning for saying I 'caused' this war, but... the tension between The Dynasty and Empire had been growing for a while, and while I admit, what I had dome had sped things up, I didn't cause anything that wasn't going to happen in the future, I'm not trying to, elevate what I have done, I know I betrayed my Dynasty, my people, my Den, there is no denying any of that, nor the lives I have ruined" he glanced at Veth, "I do want you all to know, I meant what I said, I have never felt a kinship to anyone as I have found in you, I am truly sorry you have all gotten caught up in this, and I humbly appreciate the kindness and trust you still show me"

For a while everyone was silent, Essek felt the knot in his stomach grow, waiting for their reply...minutes passed by, before "shit man" Beau sighed "I don't even know how to respond to all that, I mean" she tubbed her forehead "It doesn't make what you did right, but it does make it more understandable"  
"I think, non of us, could honestly say what we would to, how we would react, in your situation" Caduceuse stated "To have so much expectation on you, and beginning from a very young age, you must have felt so alone"  
'Oh, Essek" Jester wept kneeling and placing two hands over his " I'm so sorry you had to face all that, I can't imagine what it was like" her eyes were so full of love and compassion, "I have learned, or have been learning" Caleb started "That you have no control over your past, but, that you can still change, do better, move forward and hopefully, do enough to redeem yourself, I would not be here, I would not be thinking this if it weren't for the M9, I have discovered hope in this found family, and now, we are offering it to you"

Essek had accepted, no-one seemed to have many questions, Jester asked if he was ok, and he assured he would be, for the rest of the day, not much was said, everyone thought in their individual silence, Caduceus made some more fresh tea, which seemed to immensely helped everyone relax a bit more. Yezza and Luk had gon out for the day and didn't arrive till later, He and Veth, who had been quiet, but seemed less hostile, hanged down in the living room of this tower, Luk had been kept distracted with some new books he had, and eventually, Caleb had sat next to him, answering questions and seemingly enjoying the distraction of teaching, Fjord and Jester chatted, Jester's enthusiasm came back over time, Beau explored a few of the books, Essek sat, with Caduceus, after he handed out the tea, enjoying the quiet company, He felt a weight off his shoulders, one that had been sitting there for years.

A platter of fruits and cheese's were presented for dinner, it was far more pleasant than it had been for a while, and the M9, while anxious about the upcoming meeting, seemed more comfortable around him, and he found himself unconsciously smiling, " What's got you so bright?" Beau asked it giving him a curious smile, "I guess" He stated "I have not talked a lot about what I shared, and it felt good, to get it off my chest.... especially around friends" Immediately two blue arms wrapped around him with a bubbly giggle Jester replied "Just think Essekm if all goes well you could stay and travel with us, He could feel his smile widen, ' that was a very nice idea ' he thought.

After that, the days went on, Essek studied with Caleb a bit more, and Beau came to join them more often, Fjord, Caduceus and Yasha tended to the terrace garden more, and Jester had fun teaching Luk a few pranks and games, giving Veth and Yezza a break to talk, plan out schools, stay in Nicodranace a bit longer, it was nice to see them together, they seemed to truly value each other for their faults and benefits, Beau and Jester would often hang out as well, they talk a lot, about, about what each other wanter, was ready for, but they were both happy to just be with each other, Yussa was still distant, but he didn't have another unwanted encounter.

Then... the day finally came...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments to help with my writing.  
> I have given up finishing this, xx to all you

**Author's Note:**

> I will also be combing through previous chapters, just adding in little bits I thought would be nice or forgot about


End file.
